First off, WELCOME to my new blog! I’m so happy that you’re coming on this journey with me. Like all the rest of them. I’m on a lot of simultaneous journeys. This month of Mindset Mondays is going to be themed around plant analogies because I’m a little obsessed. Also, how are plants not great examples of almost everything meaningful in life?
Today, let’s review an overview of developing mental root systems - learning self awareness, self care, and self compassion. I’m going to share why I feel putting intention and effort into these things is such a vital and necessary way to develop root systems that will continue to serve us and all our relationships.
Spoiler: It isn’t actually all about us!
There’s a popular and true statement going around that goes something like “What other people think about us isn’t about us, it’s about them”.
Often we don’t pay attention to the fact that the converse is also true: What we think about other people isn’t about them - it’s about us.
This is a great example of why we need self awareness, and we need to know how to take care of and manage our internal landscapes. Even if we ignore our internal world, it still affects how we view and interact with everyone we come in contact with.
Being aware of my internal world a necessary part of showing up in my relationships authentically. I have the ability and responsibility to show up as the most present and mindful version of myself. If I don’t take care of myself emotionally and physically I am not able to be there for the people I care about in the same way at best. At worst, I project my challenging emotions on them. This can be SO HARMFUL, and honestly, seems like a leading cause of misunderstandings and friendship fall-outs.
Self awareness and self compassion are the root systems of a mindful and authentic life.
This is the beauty of cultivating self compassion: The kinder we are to ourselves, the more grace we hold for others. Just learning to be kind to ourselves for our own sake is reason enough, but if you’re looking for ways to turn down the automatic judgemental thoughts we all get, build up your self compassion. Look at what you say to yourself around those topics you’re so judgemental of.
I used to be really judgemental of other people, other women specifically. I was judged their life choices. I judged what they chose to wear, or what makeup they liked. I judged how they managed their lives.
But as I’ve become much more compassionate with myself, and let myself realize that I have a full spectrum of life choices, none of which would make me less of a woman, I’ve been able to give those other women a break.
As I’ve gone from wearing makeup every day, to barely wearing it, and everything in-between, I just am happy another woman has something in her life to give her that boost.
As I’ve found myself time and again just doing the best I can on the daily through various life challenges, I’ve realized that other women are in that same, sticky, messy space.
The roots we develop in self compassion sprout into compassion for others.
So if you don’t know where to start, just start with paying attention.
The rest will follow.