I love social media, but there are some definite drawbacks that always make me miss good, old fashioned, bloggin'. I know I'm not alone (and some of my subscribers don't even have social media, what?) so at the risk of recycling information, I am sharing the main reasons I created the #patriarchydetox challenge, here. It will look better in long form anyways, I promise.
I created the #patriarchydetox challenge for several reasons.
The first reason, is when something becomes a buzzword, like patriarchy, it can be easy to write it off without understanding it, or the people who use the word. For those of us in the trenches of reversing patriarchal influences in our lives, it’s always a good reminder of why we’re fighting, and what we are fighting for.
So, If you feel like you’re on the fringes of this conversation, that you’re seeking empowerment but not quite sure you’re ready to jump in, this challenge is for you. If you sign up, you’ll only be entered in the giveaway if you participate in the challenge, but I can promise that just reading the emails or watching the videos will give you a better understanding of what patriarchy is even about, and how it relates to your life. If you’re not 100% ready, that’s OK. I’m not going to close the challenge right away, so if you start a little late, we’ll be here.
The second reason I created #patriarchydetox, is I really, really, super hate diet culture in January. I love New Years, but I loathe how so many fitness and pseudo “health” spaces use shame based marketing to make us feel like we need a “new us.” We are pressured to spend so much time, energy, and money to #detox on skinny teas, shakes, and wraps so that we will be more consumable to society.
I’m not here for that.
I am however, here for deconstructing harmful stories we participate in so our new year can be about discovering who we really are, and what we have really been called to. THIS is worth time, energy, and even money to me. Do you know what’s a HUGE boost to self esteem?
Actually believing that who you are in this world is enough, and that there is enough for you as you are.
I want there to be a permanent reminder in internet land, a sign post to remind us all that our goal shouldn’t be finding new ways to take up less space in the world.
The third reason I created #patriarchydetox, is it gives us ways to embody our growth. We can take specific action towards dismantling harmful stories we tell ourselves, and we can do it IN COMMUNITY.
Every single transformative healing experience I have had has been in the company of strong women united in purpose.
All of them.
My mission as far as I know so far is to create these spaces. Online, in person, one on one, anywhere I can. I want to offer so many ways for you to expand into who you were made to be. I’m here to hold that space for you to sift through the stories you’ve lived with compassion. I’m here to walk with you as you mourn the hard things, the dark places in yourself and in others. I’m here to rally behind your mission, calling, and purpose whatever they may be.
This is the world we can create in healing and reclamation, and this is just the beginning.
Reason #4: I created #patriarchydetox because patriarchal power dynamics are a baseline part of our stories that we often don’t question. If you haven’t figured this out already, I’m into questioning everything.
But really, it’s so important to know WHY we do what we do. This challenge is an invitation to deeper intention. It’s an investigation to discover how a main structure of society intersects with who YOU are.
We are only powerless when we choose not to claim our influence. We are powerless when we shut our eyes, and plug our ears. Living our lives on autopilot is always dangerous, to us and to those who trip over the bags we refuse to unpack.
I’m going to get a little vulnerable, and share that this is the case especially in spaces of faith. I think we tend to assume that if we partake in spiritual practices and beliefs we can avoid really getting to know ourselves. We hang a cross on the closet door that we’ve shoved all of our insecurity, fear, and shame in, and think that makes us good.
For my fellow Christians - Grace and forgiveness doesn’t mean we don’t live with the consequences of our actions, and of living in a cursed world. If we don’t evaluate the structures that our world is based on, how can we recognize them when they show up in our churches?
“The World” isn’t always sex, drugs, yoga pants, and rock n’ roll. More often “The World” is fear of not being enough, fear of not having enough, fear of being wrong, fear of not being good. Looking for quick, cheap, and easy fixes to our problems in life, and getting caught up in comparison traps. Patriarchy isn’t a system based in faith, patriarchy is a “worldly” system that we ALL must fight if we want to live wholehearted, autonomous lives of faith.
Reason #5: I created the patriarchy detox challenge because I hate men. JUST KIDDING. I actually created Patriarchy Detox because I hold deep respect and love for many wonderful men in my life, and I want to see THEM free from these harmful structures too.
My repeatable phrase in this challenge is that Patriarchy is a SYSTEM, it doesn’t mean “men are evil.”
Patriarchy is the SYSTEM that tells men the only socially acceptable way of processing their emotions is through anger.
Patriarchy is the SYSTEM that suppresses the infinite ways to define “masculine” and “feminine”
Patriarchy is the SYSTEM that teaches men to see women as consumable
Patriarchy is the SYSTEM that cuts many men off from learning how to nurture themselves and their communities
Patriarchy is the SYSTEM that teaches us all to equate connection with weakness (and femininity)
Patriarchy hurts men too. We need to debunk this myth once and for all, that the system of patriarchy benefits men, and we women are just fighting for our fair share of power. No. Patriarchy is poison that turns us on each other, limits all of our potential, and creates spaces of isolation instead of spaces of connection.
This challenge is based in my, feminine, experience of patriarchy, but men are also welcome. It’s equally important (if not more important!) for men to unpack the role patriarchy has played in their lives. It’s not easy work, but it’s worthwhile. I’m all about sisterhood, but we need our men to live into the full spectrum of their identities too. We need our men healed and whole.
I could probably make a month long series on why it's so important to examine the role stories like patriarchy play in our lives, but I'll save that for after I finish my book. I am, however, so psyched to do this challenge with you all. The challenge will be open from Monday, 1/7/19, through Friday, 1/11/19, and if you'd like details on what's involved and how to sign up, click on over here.
See you on the other side!
Megan is a writer and creator from Wallingford, CT. She is passionate about empowering women to step into the full power and identity they were created to embrace and claim.